Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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