Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
