hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
