I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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