My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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