At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
