Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
