You're so nebulous sometimes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
