He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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