You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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