Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Success! We fucked roommates!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
