I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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