did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
