I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
