True but thats because hes a fetus.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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