After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
