She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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