if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
