i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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