they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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