I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Randomize
