the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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