i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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