Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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