honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
