I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
