Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
