walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize