Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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