This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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