Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
