We're facebook friends in real life
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
