I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wear drunk well.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
