we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
