I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize