so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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