Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
