if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
