she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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