And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
