your room smells of hookers.
And success
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
