Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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