i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
