That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
