Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
