Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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