): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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