Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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