Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk is not a location!
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