After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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