Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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