I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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