Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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