Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize