i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We left the knife in your bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
