i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
