I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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