I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
