He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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