Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
