I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
