Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
