Are we in a gay sports bar?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Found your dick twin last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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