I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
