Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize