I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's Friday. Sex?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
