oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
