East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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