I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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