bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
