this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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