I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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