Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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