she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
