When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
