dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i believe in u and ur pee
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
